 Something I get to do as a therapist that I never expected as a benefit of the job is being able to help people I love navigate finding their own therapist. Due to my ethics code, I could not provide therapy to someone who I already have a relationship with. However, I can use my knowledge of the field to help them find who they need to see. Have you ever looked for a therapist and seen a string of acronyms you don’t understand? Do you need an MMFT, LMFT-Associate? A PhD, LP? A Psychiatrist? An MA, LCSW Certified in EMDR? I hope you will be able to use this as a guide to find a therapist that fits your needs if you are looking and overwhelmed by the endless acronyms.
Before we get into this, I would start with an encouragement to find someone that IS licensed. There are plenty of people masquerading as therapists that have no business doing so. If you want help with mental health, step 1 is finding a LICENSED clinician. That means dump your life coach that just makes decisions you should be making or yells at you. Degrees-Degrees are simply education. Someone can have a degree without having a license. Most licensed clinicians will have at least a graduate degree. This would mean they have completed a 4 year bachelor degree, or undergraduate degree, and went back for another degree. Exceptions would be Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselors (LCDC) or Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) Therapists. We will be focusing on graduate degrees.
Licenses-For someone to have a license, they must have completed a graduate degree (Listed above) with the relevant coursework for their field, completed a state test to prove competency on the material, and have completed a determined number of supervised hours by an experienced clinician (or may be in the process of doing so).
Certifications-Certifications would be the 3rd step for a licensed clinician. If someone has a degree and a state license, certifications tend to show areas of interest for someone and may give you more confidence if you are wanting help in a certain area. This is not to say someone has to be certified in something to be able to help, it just means they may have more training and possibly experience. Then again there are many clinicians with a tremendous amount of experience that choose to not get certified in one approach. They may even have all the necessary training without completing the process to be certified.
Hopefully, this will give you some clarity when searching for a therapist. Look for someone that is qualified and seems competent in the area you need help. Don’t be afraid to ask them questions.
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 I have a habit that I have had for almost as long as I can remember. I would use it before a game against a fierce competitor back in the day, I would use it before tests in college, before testing a one rep max in the gym, before a job interview, and before asking my father-in-law if I could marry his daughter. Simply put, I talk to myself. It is a little more than that though. More accurately, I have an inner hype-man that believes I can do anything. You have inner thoughts though-everyone does. This is just using them to your advantage.
Imagine all of these examples if I allowed my inner thoughts to run the show. “They won’t hire you-there is always a better candidate”; “You are not going to be able to squat that”; “Why would he let you marry his daughter”. Many of us would not keep friends around that talked to us the way we talk to ourselves, but we allow ourselves to continue to beat us into submission. These negative thoughts do not just impact areas that we want to perform well, but also our day-to-day activities and our overall outlook on life. Does this really matter though? How can our thoughts change how we perform or how we feel? Gary Mack, author of Mind Gym, says “Others can help motivate you, but basically it must come from you…” There is so much power in how we treat ourselves mentally. Will it give you the results you want every single time? No. However, it can put you in a better headspace to compete in some cases. In other cases, it can help us be less critical in failure. This concept is not about feeling overly optimistic and things always working out in your favor. Consider this. If what I am saying is true, that if you think negatively you can set yourself back, could the results you are getting be due to the fact you do not expect things to work out in the first place? In psychology, we call this a self-fulfilling prophecy. It can feel easier to just assume failure rather than allowing yourself to hope. Wherever you land in this regard, give these things a try and see where it gets you. Utilize positive self-talk This can include a range of positivity. This can be anything from “I passed my last test. I prepared and attended all the classes. I can do this.” to “I’m going to destroy this test. This is just a small barrier in my path to greatness and I am going to obliterate it.” What would you want people to say to you to encourage you? What types of things would you say to friends to encourage them? Deconstruct negative thoughts Want to know something every human from the beginning of time until the end of time will have in common? We will have a thought that is not true. What can we do about it? Challenge our thoughts. If you do this with your positive thoughts, try it with negative thoughts as well. Take note of things like using the word “always” and “never”. Take note when you make large assumptions about people's motives. For example, you text a friend and do not hear back. You might have the immediate thought “They must have ignored me. They don’t like me.” On the one hand, sure. That is not completely out of the realm of possibility. However, what if your text failed? What if they saw it while they were driving, planned to respond when they got to their destination, and forgot by the time they got there? What if they were having a really bad day themselves and did not feel like talking to anyone? You get the picture. Just take time to challenge your thoughts. Accept compliments If someone says something nice to you, do not argue with them. Just appreciate what they are seeing in you and sharing with you. This is something I have a unique experience with as a counselor. I am constantly seeing growth in people that they are not giving themselves credit for. Part of what I do is call that out of them and celebrate it with them. |
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