Let Them Figure It Out

Any parent has been there. You're in a public place and your kid does something that if an adult did it to another adult there would be a real problem. So you, like a good friend, perk up. "Do they need my help? I better go check." And you intervene. Add to that the looks of shame from seemingly everyone around you. It must make you a bad parent if you DON'T do anything...right?

Most people can recall a moment of social embarrassment. Maybe you shared a joke or a story that didn't land well. Maybe you moved to Texas and called soda "pop". Maybe you showed up to someone's house and seemed to ignore a social norm everyone else seemed to understand without explanation. How did you get through it? Sometimes we learn from picking up cues-the stares or awkward laughter let us now we don't joke like that here. Maybe we ask a friend if there's something we missed. Maybe the table laughs at us when we say "pop". In some cases, someone might come along side us and let us know our misstep. Whatever the case, it tends to be a lasting moment for us because we had to sort it out. 

Kids desperately need to sort out the social cues. They do this by having moments of social failure where they have to figure it out. This could be anything from taking something that isn't theirs, having their own toy taken, or a little physical jostling. Instinct, and societal pressure, say to jump in. Use discernment of course, but next time maybe take a beat and see what happens. 

Does this seem impossible? Contact us for help in navigating your own anxiety or what might seem like more complicated situations with your kiddos.