Support in the Holidays

Every year families reconvene around the dinner table to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas. And every year people are trying to figure out how to deal with all the issues that come up during the year that are then ignored or come out at really difficult times with their family members. This tension inevitably spills into marriages and couples go from being upset with in-laws to blaming each other for unmet expectations. 

John Gottman says a healthy relationship feels like a port in a storm. Everything around you can feel chaotic and challenging, but when you have your person, you can find refuge in that. 

Before you go wherever you're going this holiday, sit down with your spouse and talk about what support would be like for you. Talk explicitly and in positive terms. Telling someone what NOT to do is rarely helpful. Be clear about what you want to do. As an example...

 Unclear: "Don't just leave me alone with your family."

Clear: "When you give me a good long hug and tell me "I've got you." I know we're in this together. Can you remind me of that?"

Families are hard. Always and for many people. If this feels like an impossible task, reach out to us for a free consultation today.