The Simplicity of Appreciation

There's a marital researcher, John Gottman, who has had a tremendous impact on the field of marriage therapy. Through longitudinal research (research done over an extended period of time rather than in one moment of time) he has compiled 7 different things that happy couples do. One of those is they regularly express appreciation to each other. 

Have you ever had a boss that would commend your work? It might seem like I silly thing. If I am paid to do a job maybe I should just expect the paycheck to be enough, but when someone takes time to say "Hey. You put in a lot of effort on that project. Thanks for doing that." it can go a really long way. 

In marriage, we can get so used to the things our partner does and so focused on the things we do or need to do we might move too fast to let them know the things we appreciate about them. Consider for a moment-what would it be like if your partner expressed appreciation for the things you already do and feel go unnoticed? Now consider what it would be like for your partner if you expressed genuine appreciation for things that they do? Or for character traits they hold? 

Here's the encouraging thing. We impact the people around us. It can start with you. Be more intentional about letting the people in your home know the ways you appreciate them. See if that doesn't create a culture of appreciation in your home. 

If this is more complicated than it seems like it should be, sometimes that's because it is. Contact us for a free consultation if this feels like an unattainable goal in your home right now.